Food is life. Without it you die. If evolution is real, then I suggest you kick and claw you're way to the top, until you're the only survivor. Bam! Survival of the fittest. With this simple guide, you will be able to steal from anyone between the ages of a baby to a young toddler.
1. CHECK FOR POLICE!
I can not stress this step more. So many would be heroes do their heroics in front of the police and are immediately apprehended. One of my good buddies, Jim Jones, tried to rob a dunkin donuts with a police car parked out side of it. If he was following this guide, Jim Jones wouldn't be in jail for shooting seven police officers before turning himself in.
2. MAKE SURE THE BABY HAS CANDY
This is another important step. You don't want to waste your time creeping around in bushes and pretending to own a child at the kid's park, if you hit a false positive. Make sure the baby has on its possession some kind of sweet.
3. BEAT THE PARENTS
You must drive the eagle from the nest in order to snatch the eggs. You should do this via a couple of ways. Most of them involve a golf club to the head or a golf ball to the temple which will be delivered by said golf club. You can also use a gun.
4. USE PLIERS
You must have the correct tool to ply the candy from the toddler. Kids have evolved strong talons that can prevent you from stealing the candy, and you must counteract this by breaking the fingers.
5. TOOTH BRUSH
Once all of the defenses are broken, and you have successfully extracted your prize, you must use proper clean up tools. You should brush your teeth twice a day or more, depending on the amount of candy you have eaten. This will ensure you may have years of stealing candy from toddlers.
