Guest Post

Hello!

My name is Conservative Baby! I is guest blogging for Chivalrous Tart because he is in jail for cooking his neighbor's golden retriever. I hate everything about Liberals and those stinking hippy, communists, satanists, young, yogurt lovers (Yogut makes me make sloppy poopy). They are completely stupid and uneducated when compared to us super smart conservatives. ALL liberal arguments is wrong, and every single liberal are stupider than every Conservative. FACT! Here is a photo of me in my crib.

I Want You! To Give Me Some Nipple, Before I get Bitey.

EVOLUTION IS LIBERAL LIE!

Everyone knows that The Evolution is a big fat liberal lie, as big as the the tit I suck on every night for dinner. Liberal smear Christianity with satan science (ALL SCIENCE IS SATAN BECAUSE THEY BOTH START WITH “S”. COINCIDENCE?) Here are five reason why Evolution is causing social decay, and we should stop learning it, FACT!

1. EVOLUTION IS NAZI

Hitler was one of the biggest advocate of Evolution, to the point where he tried to kill all the Jews. The reason he commit evolution murder is because Hitler hate big nose (CITATION NEEDED). He also love blonde hair and he hate black hair, so he kill lot of big nose people. That why Evolution is Nazi.

2. I AM NO MONKEY. WHY ARE THERE NO HALF MONKEY WALKING AROUND?

If human come from monkey, why are there no monkey-people (EXCEPT FOR BIG FOOT. ALL REAL CONSERVATIVES KNOWS BIG FOOT HATE LIBERAL!) Big foot no count though. He is half ape, half human. He is no half monkey, half people. A lot of expert Christian scientists cite big foot in their papers.

3. BIBLE MAKE EVERYTHING!

Everyone know there is a lot of proof for God. There is a lot of evidence, like, I saw Jesus in my dream last night, and he told me so. Also, my pastor told me that God is real, and God tell him God is real, and God says bible is true, and bible is always right, so God must bible. There is more evidence for God, than for millions of years worth of evolution, FACT!

4. SATAN PUT BONE IN GROUND TO CONFUSE GOOD CHRISTIANS

Everyone know he who must not be named put fossil in ground. Look at this irreutable proof! Satan live in ground, so Satan put bone in ground. How can stupid liberal argue with that logic? You can't!

5. LIBERAL BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION, AND LIBERAL WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING!

A lot of experts like Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh no believe in Evolution. Only stupid scientists like Richard Dawkins, Stupid Darwin, Eric Lander, Every Single Reputuable Biologist/Ecologist/Weatherman, you see, only stupid people is evolutionist. Name one issue liberal has right other than universal suffrage, interracial marriage, public education, and slavery? You can't! Fact!